Online Dating 101: What To Do When Your Online Dating Profile Gets No Responses
It’s been longer than you care to admit since you uploaded your online dating profile and you still haven’t gotten a single response. Judging from the amount of abandoned profiles littering online dating websites (many of which likely got few—if any—e-mails), a great deal of people have been discouraged enough by this to log out for good. If you find that your profile isn’t getting you the attention that you hoped it would, don’t blame yourself — blame your profile. Most Internet dating profiles can stand to be improved. Most are unengaging and don’t do what a profile should do: invite a response. If you want to increase your odds of logging in to find someone amazing in your inbox, try these five things:
1. Delete the Quickie Profile You Wrote When You First Joined
Profiles tend to be written hastily after account creation. People are so eager to begin using the site that they hastily plow through the most important step: writing a thoughtful and charming description of themselves. Before you give up on online dating, reread your profile with a critical eye. Does it just as easily describe most other people around your age? Is it mostly composed of declarative sentences (“I enjoy dancing. I also like going out with my friends.”) instead of vivid descriptions of the exciting things about your life? Be honest—is it a little boring? If the answer is yes, your profile is actively working against your chances of meeting someone. Delete it.
2. Do a Total Rewrite
When you sit down to do a rewrite, make sure you give every sentence personality. Add colorful details about what you do for living and about the things that make you excited to get out of bed every morning; the more, the better. If writing isn’t your thing, enlist a literary friend. Dating profiles can be helped immeasurably by the opinion of someone that knows you well. If you prefer to keep your online dating a secret from your friends, look online for a freelance writer to help you sculpt your profile text into something that attracts e-mail. (Quite a few major dating sites offer this as a service.)
3. When in Doubt, Upload Photos
Chances are, however, that if your profile has gotten no responses, it’s your photos that are the real culprit. Either your photos are of poor quality (bad) or your profile has no photos at all (much worse). If your profile has no photos, don’t expect to get responses. You may get a few, but know that you can dramatically increase your incoming e-mail by adding just one. Popular dating site Match estimates that profiles with photos get 15x more attention than those without. Want further proof? See those abandoned profiles in your search results that have owners that haven’t logged on in months? Notice how many of them don’t have any photos. This is not a coincidence.
You shouldn’t be afraid to delete unflattering photos as well. Here are some types of photos that you should seriously consider getting rid of:
— photos where you’re harshly and unflatteringly lit
— low quality cellphone pictures
— photos where you’re holding a drink
— guys: shirtless photos
— obviously self-taken photos (i.e., photos with a prominent extended arm)
If you’d really like to improve your profile, have some professional shots taken. Not many things will make a better first impression than perfect lighting and a memorable pose.
4. Keep Your Profile Current
After you’ve updated your profile, make sure to keep it current. Try updating something every week. Books you’re reading, restaurants you’ve discovered, upcoming trips—any of these can inspire someone to strike up a conversation. You never know, mentioning the bestseller on your nightstand can lead to an amazing first date.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Make the First Move
It can be stressful to reach out and contact people on a dating site. The fear of rejection, the nerve-wracking wait for a response — these things can keep you from being a proactive online dater. However, someone has to initiate the conversation first. You took a chance when you joined the site, so why not take another? The payoff may have you canceling your dating site subscription for all the right reasons. (Visit http://www.zusmatch.com for more information)